Mental health check, making friends.

So, I went to therapy yesterday and was told it was a good idea for me to meet with a autism parent support group. To make new friends and stuff lie that. This is hard to do for me. Why? I have a lot of anxiety and am a massive introvert. Hard to believe I know, but it is true. I have a lot of fears,fears of saying the wrong thing, anxiety over saying the wrong thing and then worrying about it for the next few days. Being burned by so called friends in the past as a kid and adult has definitely shaped how I look at making friends. In my head it is easier to be alone, not necessarily does that mean better.


My other issue is getting over the cliquey nature of groups. In my experience trying to get into these kinds of things proves difficult and you just get knocked away. For not being rich enough, good enough, “normal” enough. My social awkwardness is apparent and weirdness runs rampart. Meeting other bloggers was great a year ago, but after every event I went to I was in my head bashing myself for being weird, stupid, loud, a nervous chatter box. Being an introvert doesn’t always mean that you are quiet, sometimes with social anxiety you talk a lot…. A cope with the fact that you feel out of place and are about to hyperventilate.  I still to this day question how I talked and behaved during events. And because of my anxiety and issues with being around people I have closed myself off from everything. Which as a fashion blogger could be a no no no no. And it is something I am aiming to work on.  Feeling alone is not good, feeling so out of touch isn’t either.

The other issue is when you have a child with special needs people do not seem to understand why you just can not go out. Finding a sitter that I trust is hard, finding someone to take care of the booger butts while we are out is hard. Especially when people do not know how to take care of a child with autism, even if it is only for a few hours. So, my therapist then suggested getting in touch with my son’s insurance to see if there is a way to get some help. Even if it is a few hours on the weekend. But then there is the issue of E, he is not special needs, so how would that help with E?

There are so many things and right now I am feeling so overwhelmed I am just trying to process it all. Trying to figure what to do next…and how to mentally handle it all.  How about you?  If so, you are not alone.

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