Off shoulder maxi dress

L’Absolu Lip Lacquer • Lancôme • $26
Banu Top Handle Bag • Cult Gaia • $368
GG Marmont caimn belt with shiny buckle • Gucci • $980
Monica Slingback Wedge • Toms • $79.95
ASOS DESIGN cotton poplin off shoulder maxi dress with pephem in black • Asos • $51

lI love this dress from H&M, I got it not long after I had E. But, I really haven’t worn it much since. I wore it a few times. It has been hard for me lately to get in to the mood to be dressed for longer. And although my swelling is getting better, the mental aspect of it is still lingering. And that freinds, sucks so bad. So bad. And that is just one more thing to work on. UGH!

That is ok though right? Yeah, it is.

I have so many cute clothes, and so many things to wear. But that part of my brain, you are too fat, you are going to swell, you do not deserve this are blasting away in my head. And I am trying to fight it. It is winning, which is unfortunate. Very unfortunate. I hate it.

HATE it.

I got that Rent the runway subscription to help with that, and that mental block. It was to help me and being creative for my blog. And it is, but how great is my mental stability when right after I get home from my son’s appointment and I change into loungewear, after being dressed for 2 hours MAX. Makeup off and everything. Depression is hell. Anxiety is hell. My brain is in hell.

I look at these pictures and think why, why am I like that when these things are actually comfy to wear. I need to make that extra step and just continue on.

It felt good to get this all off my shoulders.

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  • Molly April 18, 2020 at 2:33 AM

    Maybe I should have commented more, but I’ve noticed over the months that you’ve been losing weight and looking really good. Keep it up! It’s a marathon – not a sprint. You still look gorgeous girl!

    • Stephanie April 20, 2020 at 4:05 PM

      Thank you so much molly! I am trying so hard to get healthy and inshape!


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