OK gang, time for a different kind of blog post. This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. If you follow me on instagram, which you totally should, you may have seen me talk about this.When December hit this year my family was battling the fact my hubby had just been back for a few days from England, only to leave for another week. And then during that time we were all still getting over the Flu. My son and I were sick for 2 almost 3 weeks straight. He had the stomach issues with the flu, mine turned into Bronchitis, antibiotics were flowing around the house. I didn’t feel much in the Christmas spirit. AT ALL. This is like the 3rd year in a row that something like this happened and I end up the biggest damned Grinch ever. I swear I will get haunted by the 3 spirits, I am that bad lately. We can say it is mostly hormonal, sure, but in reality it is me too. And if I do in fact get haunted can I have Kurt Cobain, J. R.R. Tolkein, and Chris Cornell, you know, I will be more receptive. Just saying.
The past few years things just seem to explode for my family at this time of year. This year we are dealing with 2 deaths of loved ones, one right before Thanksgiving. And then the dishwasher broke, and then the AC broke. In Florida AC that is broken is a death sentence, really. Or in my head it is a death sentence. And then to top it all off the flu and I just have not been able to get back to normal. My mind is always racing, always stressed out. Thinking about presents and then realizing I have no idea what my close family is in to anymore. So, what to do about it? What do I do about it? I feel damned crazy right now. And I know it is holiday stress and my pregnancy is making it harder to deal with it more and more.
So, the other day, when we were out and about I saw how excited he(my son) was for Christmas. How happy the lights, the tinsel, the candy, the grandiose display of everything makes him. How he loves the music, the ambiance, the Santa, and the movies. Then after speaking with my hubby, I realized I have been looking at the whole mess of the holiday through the eyes of a cynical adult who every year since adulthood has come to loathe something she loved as a kid. I realized I went from a Fozziewig to a Scrooge and that friends is hard to comprehend. (Fozziewig is from the Muppets Christmas Carol)
I then turned to my son who was snuggled next to me this morning in bed. He was sandwiched between my hubby and I thought hard about my situation.I used to be like that, carefree and loving the holiday. I brag about how much I love the holiday and then this year pooped on it. I know what caused my tragic dislove, I know why I got this way. I allowed the holiday stress get to me. And I let the little things build up. I got sick at the worst time of year, my son got sick at the worst time of year for a kid, and then I just fell out of order. Nothing has gone the way I wanted it to. And I had my mind made up that it would be different this year vs last year where similar issues happened. Only last year I was able to deal better. My lack of sleep due to constant discomfort makes this a lot harder.
And when it came to presents, I asked my little what mama should do? He went right to the cookie and cake mix aisle in Target. He grabbed several bags of his FAVE chocolate cookie mix. And he said “COOKIES mama. Bake bake cookies” For those who think that kids with Autism or other disabilities do not understand, I beg to differ. To people who think that a child with ASD or other disabilities and can not talk, and therefore can not communicate, I beg to differ again. This was his way of saying what to do and I am so proud of my little problem solver. And then he grabbed more Caramel for the cookies we need to bake-bake.Next we went and got pretzels to dip in white chocolate and called it a day! We decided to make gifts this year. Then he picked out his cousin’s present, a bath toy. It is a little duckie basket ball hoop with balls meant for the tub. Again, seeing through the eyes of a child. They see things so differently. While we see things in value of a more materialistic way, kids are different. Especially my kid.
So, now, I am snapping out of my post flu funk. My MAKER’S BREATH everything just got dumped on me at the last minute whiney sob story, my Grinchy attitude, and I am going to bake the damned cookies, I am going to have epic dance parties with my little to Christmas music. I realized after taking my son to the tree again, and then looking back on pictures from Disney just how wrong I got the holiday. And remembered what it was like as a kid. I think we adults need to get back into that mind set. Yeah, we have the responsibilities we didn’t have as kids, but we forget the fun stuff. We do not take the damn time for it. And friends we should. SO go to the big Christmas trees, go Christmas light looking, forget your diets for a few days(unless it is a doctor’s orders), forget the money being spent and save it by doing something different, look up for free and fun things to take your kids too, go to Church and sing carols if that is your jam, if you are in FL in the Orlando area and can’t afford the big Disney Parks, go to Disney Springs! There are so many things to do, that will get you into the spirit. Turn on some music, check out my playlist here.(I added some Nat King Cole and More Ella) And the outfit I am wearing will be on the blog soon.
And to my son,
Thank you. Thank you for teaching mommy some valuable lessons this year. Thank you for teaching me how to be more patient(even though hormonally it is harder right now), more understanding and accepting of those different than you. Thank you for teaching me to dance like no one is looking(no one is, let us be real about that one) Thank you for helping me avoid the 3 Christmas Spirits. And thank you for just being the happy little you.
P.s. I have gotten a lot people asking when out and about with him where I get his clothes. So here is a widget of where I get them. It varies, I go to GAP kids when they have sales and then The Children’s place. But, TARGET, has some of the softest denim for little boys.
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