In this day and age body positivity is everywhere, it is on Instagram with instagramers talking about celebrating every body and every body type. But, you would think that as a pregnant woman body shamers or talking down to them on how they are dressed may not be something that happens. Guess again friends, Guess again.
This form of mom shaming/ body shaming is something that hurts just as much as someone calling someone out on their skin color, too dark, too pale, abnormalities, being too overweight, being too skinny, etc. The list goes on and on. With my first born, I was flat out called fat by a family member when I was about 8 months pregnant. It still hurts me and that was almost 5 years ago, especially since I was on bed rest at the time and on meds that can make you swell. I cried in the bathroom after getting off the phone with this relative, alone.
So what happened this time?
Well, Bless my little heart, ya’ll it was my clothes. Believe it or not, this outfit here that I wore for my post on Popjulia fashion. (Blog post and review here.) This outfit caused two grown women to act like school yard high school bullies. Even if they didn’t intent on causing that kind of hurt. They still did. Remember the old saying ” It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”? Well, possible good intentions and commentary on my outfit sparked rage in my husband, in me, in my blogger friends, and well yeah. I like to think there is good in many people and misunderstandings in things can happen.
The “incident” as I will call it, happened when I needed to drop my son’s nap pad at school. It is a napping blanket attached to a comfy pad for nap time, super cute and has a pillow too, rolls up and is perfect for school. Anyways, I went to drop it off and two women stood near the doorway. I was fine until the very first condescending “bless your little heart.”
If there was a statement I hate hearing in the South it is that one. I hate it. Because most of the time, I hear it used to be condescending to others. Not in a loving way.
” Are you trying to make that baby come early with those shoes?”
I just went, um what? I did not ask for their opinion, I was there to just drop off something. It was initiated by them.
I told these women that my shoes are very comfy and light weight and nothing wrong with it. (My obgyn in the hospital told me she wore heels until the last day of her pregnancy. GO GIRL!) I was justifying my outfit to two perfectly good strangers outside my son’s school. Who the hell these two people were I have no clue, and honestly I do not give a damn. But, I do give a damn, because I am still talking about it. IT bothers me.
The bless your heart comments were free flowing from these two at this point, pointing out my outfit. Like I how I was dressed really mattered in being a pregnant woman. Like I was asking for preterm labor, because I was wearing faux leather, boots, and a cozy cardigan. Seriously ladies, my ass was not hanging out, I was not dressed like a frump no, but I was dressed very nice. In fashion, in my style, and in my opinion bad ass.
Little did these two know that a couple of weeks later(maybe less) I would be in preterm labor, but not because of my shoes, but because of the stomach flu going around my son’s school.
I pride myself, that I took better care of ME this pregnancy. I was tooting my own horn in the fact that while I gained as much weight with this baby as my first born tiny child, I was healthier and more fit. I have no idea where the excess weight was, It was mostly baby and a little on my thighs I think. I prided myself that I didn’t loose my fashion identity this time. I stuck with what I always wear and changed it up by trimester. I was smarter this time, I knew when I could rock those heels and when I honestly couldn’t. I knew my strengths and weaknesses this time.
SO to those two ladies, thank you, thank you for making the body positivity movement that more important. Thank you for pointing out why we need this now, thank you for being horrible. I just hope that if they have daughters, that their girls don’t do this to others. It is learned, we must break the cycle. More now than ever.
My outfit was simple, I wore faux leather maternity leggings, a basic tee, statement necklace from Sugarfix, and a cardigan, with those shoes. Who would have thought it would be so controversial. It is laughable!
What do you think? How would you have handled it? What would you have said?
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