How I got fired from perfection. Seeking perfection is something we all do, but sometimes when you do it beomes a nightmare. Wearing Zara and Target asics and KAte spade

How I got fired from my circus act || Zara skirt and Target Style

How I got fired from perfection. Seeking perfection is something we all do, but sometimes when you do it beomes a nightmare. Wearing Zara and Target asics and KAte spade

Wearing :

Zara (similar)

Target

Asics

KAte Spade

Francesca’s

Welp, That’s it. I got fired, fired from seeking perfection. It is a dangerous act to perfom, perfection. My desire for perfection and need for it has caused me at my therapist put it to be doing an endless circus act. A circus act that I can not do any longer. A balancing act and juggling act. Some thing that we as women and some men do ALL THE TIME. Me, though, takes it to extreme. The little voices saying my house is too messy and I can not keep it clean, the voices that say I am too fat and ugly, the voices that say I have to be the best parent and there ALWAYS no matter what. The going in 200 different directions and that makes me forget to breath. And the breathing part is not metaphorical. I actually stop breathing. Weird isn’t it, and I wasn’t aware I did that. My therapist caught me doing it! I have coping tools for this crippling stress and anxiety, the Trichotillomania and yelling at everyone and unfortunatley falling back into the Anorexia. That is another blog post in on itself. But let me say I get mad at myself for eating, weird but true. I have a snack of pistachios and have a day long pissed at self pissing match over the fact I “indulged” on a handful of pistachios. Anyone who has struggled with an eating disorder knows what that is like. I never really thought my blog would ever be a platform for me to talk about this stuff. But here we are.

My life, is a daily circus act. A circus act that my therapist has fired me from. I got fired.  I was told I need to learn how to step away from things, something that of course when I told my husband about I got the ” TOLD YOU SO” that is true but not necessary I knew that. And like he said I needed an outsider’s perspective, which I agreed with.

How I got fired from perfection. Seeking perfection is something we all do, but sometimes when you do it beomes a nightmare. Wearing Zara and Target asics and KAte spade

 

So now the challenge is how to let things go, how to leave things and walk away? How do I stop that, I can acknowledge that I do that, but usually it comes after the fact. This is going to be a hard task for me, letting go of years and years and years of behavior is going to feel impossible. But, I have to do it. For my kids and for me and my hubby.

How I got fired from perfection. Seeking perfection is something we all do, but sometimes when you do it beomes a nightmare. Wearing Zara and Target asics and KAte spade

Now, I know what you may be thinking, did you tale these pictures in a playground. Yeah, I did. With my littlest actually, and we had fun. Even if I was getting the look from other moms there. I was not hurting them, I was minding my own damn business, and I was not taking pictures of THEIR kids. In fact I did my best to ensure their photos were not taken. I respect other’s privacy. Wish I could say the same of others, especially when it comes to children. Anyways, how did I know I was the one being talked about by the mom club? Every time they were looking at me and I would catch it they would start laughing, and one time were pointing in my direction while laughing. YEAH, I got ladies I look narcissistic and let me say, maybe instead of focusing on what me and my little lion cub are doing, perhaps you should get off your butts and PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS! Wasting too much energy on what I am doing with my own, freaking A.

Bullying doesn’t stop when you are out of highschool kids.

Now I am going off on a Tangent.

oops.  If I see a photogenic place(that is public), I am going to take advantage of it. End of story.

How I got fired from perfection. Seeking perfection is something we all do, but sometimes when you do it beomes a nightmare. Wearing Zara and Target asics and KAte spadeHow I got fired from perfection. Seeking perfection is something we all do, but sometimes when you do it beomes a nightmare. Wearing Zara and Target asics and KAte spadeHow I got fired from perfection. Seeking perfection is something we all do, but sometimes when you do it beomes a nightmare. Wearing Zara and Target asics and KAte spade

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